This should receive some type of humanitarian award.  It says it all... 1. Big companies don't do business via chain letters and there are no computer programs that track how many times an e-mail is forwarded, let alone by whom. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class action checks. 2. Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not satanic. 3. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people. 4. The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true." 5. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell bent on believing the kidney theft ring stories, see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories." None have. That's "none" as in "zero."  Not even your friend's cousin. 6. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, and decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on. 7. If the latest NASA rocket disaster's DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter? 8. There is no "Good Times" virus.  In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm that at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses. Try: http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.  And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download it....ya know, like, a FILE! 9. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes headlights at another car driving at night without lights. 11. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months.  (Think Cut and Paste) It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">>>.." that begin each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it. 12. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a "little boy" either. 13. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do. Also, the American Cancer Society does not give 3 cents for each person you forward e-mail to. They ask for you to donate money, money, they don't give it, as if they could know how many e-mails you sent out...sheesh. 14. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley. 15. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. 16. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about. 17. KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and beaks and feet.  No, they really do. Why did they change their name?  In this health conscious world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED is not healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember. 18. Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true. PS: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long-distance companies to charge you for using the Internet. Bottom Line...composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public rest room. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false...ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true. PAGE INDEX   CHEMO TIPS The following information is from an Internet message board... QUESTION: For anyone who has had a loved one on chemo, did anything work for the mouth sores? She has tried the medical things, and it really has not helped. I just wondered if something out of the main stream helped with the uncomfortableness of these sores. ANSWER: Get her some lysine...It's a dietary supplement available in the pharmacy (where the vitamins are)... also tell her (something I didn't know until yesterday) to drink at least 10 8oz servings of water... It will flush her system and the mouth sores will not be so bad (I think they happen because the chemo doesnt get flushed out of the kidneys and stays in the system)... I had my third dose of chemo on friday and had to go back for a second dose of anti-nausea... They had to give me 2 liters of fluids because my blood pressure was so low... They also said that all my other symptoms (nausea, mouth sores, fatigue, etc.) could be helped with more water... After the fluids, I drank 80+ ozs of water yesterday and felt great... My poor chaped lips even looked and felt better... PAGE INDEX   Various Around the House Tips 1) Flies or bees bothering you?  Spray them with hairspray and they will take a quick dive. 2) Sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap.  The envelope can then be resealed.  (hmmmmmm...) 3) Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords.  It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to. 4) For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it.  Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. 5) Crayon marks on walls?  This worked wonderfully!  A damp rag, dipped in baking soda.  Comes of with little effort (elbow grease that is!). 6) Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel. 7) Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves.  After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical.  And now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely!  In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way! 8) Opening brand new jars can be a feat in itself.  Well, I have found a way to make it the easiest thing to do.  Instead of banging a jar of jam, pickles, etc., with a knife until it loosens up, I simply reach into the drawer and pull out the handy nutcracker.  It adjusts to the size of the jar and I simply give it a good twist and off pops the lid! 9) Blood stains on clothes?  Not to worry!  Just pour a little peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! 10) Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows.  This way you can tell which side has the streaks.  Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean.  Don't wash windows on a sunny day.  They will dry too quickly and will probably streak. 11) Spray a bit of perfume on the lightbulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.  Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come.  You can also do this with towels and linen. 12) Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning. 13) To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers.  Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new!  Works like a charm! 14) To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop. 15) Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. 16) When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. 17) Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. 18) When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness. 19) Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.  The throbbing will go away. 20) Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. 21).  To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief. 22) Use air-freshener to clean mirrors.  It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine. 23) When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle.  Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off.  Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily. 24) Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer... * Clean a toilet.  Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush.  The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China. * Clean a vase.  To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets. * Polish jewelry.  Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. * Clean a thermos bottle.  Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). * Unclog a drain.  Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar.  Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.