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* DATING SAFETY: A Self Defense Resource Guide for Women

PAGE 3 INDEX:




 TIPS ON STAYING SAFE ... FOR WOMEN
(and for men to tell their women)

I learned from my children's karate classes that the elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

Last night I attended a personal safety workshop, and it jolted me. It was given by an amazing man, Pat Malone, who has been a body guard for famous figures like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works for the FBI and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS hand-to-hand combat.

This man has seen it all, and knows a lot. He focused his teachings to us on HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME. He gave us some statistics about how much the occurrences of random violence have escalated over the recent years, and it's terrible. Something like 99% of us will be exposed to, or become a victim of a violent crime.

Here are some of the most important points
that I got out of his presentation:

1.  The three reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are:
(a) Lack of Awareness You MUST know where you are & what's going on around you.

(b) Body Language Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight up.

(c) Wrong Place, Wrong Time DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood at night.

2.  Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list,etc).  DON'T DO THIS!  The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.  AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

(a) A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

(b) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their
cars.

(c) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.


IT IS ALWAYS BETTER
TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY
(And better paranoid than dead)

3.  ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

4.  If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!

(a) The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times.  And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.  RUN!

5.  As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT!  It may get you raped, or killed.

(a) Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

(b) Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who came out of the mall and was walking to her car when she noticed 2 older ladies in front of her. Then she saw a police car come towards her with cops who said hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in the area were empty.

As she neared her car she saw a man a few rows over calling to her for help. He wanted her to close his passenger side door. He was sitting in the back on the driver's side, and said he was handicapped. He continued calling, until she turned and headed back to the mall, and then he began cursing at her. In the meantime, she wondered why he didn't ask the 2 older ladies, or the policeman for help, and why he was not parked in any of the empty handicap spots. As she got back to the mall, two male friends of hers were exiting, and as she told them the story, and turned to point at the car, the man was getting out of the back seat into the front and the car sped away.

6.  Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans.  If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.  Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse.  RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!



DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP

7.  Another Safety Point: Someone e-mailed that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch one night.  She called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.  The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window.  She was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.

The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."   He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.  He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.  Please pass this on! and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.

This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

Forward this to all the women you know.  It may save a life.  A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.  Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it ... better safe than sorry.




It's a shame valuable time and effort has to be put into matters such as this one... Folks, all kinds of people are online... Most of them are good, courteous people, however since some people only wish to share bad vibes...
Your Pain (could) Have a Name!
Be careful online. Use caution. Don't assume anything. There's meanness in the real world, and the Internet and World Wide Web is no different. The following post is provided here as a learning tool, and a warning to persons that involve themselves with online groups.
The obtained information written in the post provided below can help you identify organized attacks on the Internet, and the World Wide Web. The post below is also recruiting meanness, don't allow yourself to fall into their traps...Web Surfers Beware. These tactics ARE being used everyday:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Rules and Rewards of Invasion
Subject: F.A.Q.
Date: 1/16/2001 4:16 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: TrollJF-----------t
Message-id: <---------@ng-ch1.aol.com>

To all you newcomers out there, don't be shy, there are plenty of good seats left up front.
Let me welcome you all with the eternal words of our Emperor, Fluffy:

"Meow meow meow Henrietta Pussycat meow meow The Presidents of the United States of America meow kitty?"

The following is an extract from  alt.syntax.tactical FAQ - Dealing with Trolls Crossposting and Flames Rev 19991.  While written for Usenet, with a much more technically sophisticated audience in mind, the principles apply here as well.  Besides, why limit Performance Art to AOL or the ACLU?  There are much brighter stages available.

                      The Invasion FAQ of A.S.T.
Although not exactly a FAQ, this file is more of an explanation of why alt.syntax.tactical and the tactical-list were created. It also lays down the foundation for the structure, strategy, and protocol of USENET invasions.

                            * Invasion *
Each of us brings our own reasons, backgrounds and motivations into this scheme. What is important is that each individual brings into this their own brand of inspired mischief. In some ways it is completely innocent. In some ways it is completely destructive.

Anyone can walk into alt.sex and post that pornography should be banned. Anyone can walk into rec.sport.baseball and say "baseball sucks". It takes unbelievable skill and discipline to cause a PROLONGED flame war. That is what we do. But it can only be done with talent, and numbers to match that talent. We only bring into the fold people who have the knack to use smarts to incite chaos, not stupidity to incite being ignored when people see a post and
know what you're up to.

To keep things running smoothly, Antebi is our 'moderator'. jpdavid was responsible for creating the mailing-list and setting up the initial newsgroup. Everyone is equal in suggesting and voting on invasion sites and other basic day-to-day workings of the group. Everyone here gains or loses merit only in the invasion arena.

                       * Waves of Invasion *
Flames and wars between groups are as old as Usenet. What we try to do is in many ways fundamentally different from what is or has been done in this area.
After picking a site, we call for an invasion on that site. There are a number of phases to an invasion. Each person can volunteer for which wave they want to be in, but more times than not, it is a first come-first served policy. It is always important that no one jump the gun and go in before we have time to prepare and bounce ideas off each other. It's also important that people don't switch waves without letting everyone know. Flexibility is the key, as is communication.
Typically, we use between two and five Waves of attack. Waves will generally break down into this kind of structure:
a: Reconnaissance (RECON): These people will go in early and usually set up camp as "friends of the newsgroup". They will become trusted and participate by joining previous discussions or starting non-controversial ones themselves. They will also act as "double-agents" to counter-flame the other waves as the invasion progresses. They key is building a bit of credibility.
b: Wave One: Wave one will usually be what starts the flame war. Those involved in this wave can go on and each have a different flame, or go on and flame in unison.  They can bring in a subject of their own or flame a previous discussion. What matters is that this initial wave will be the one that the invaded newsgroup will have their attention on. This wave calls for extreme subtlety. The quality of the flame MUST be at its highest point here.
c: Wave Two: Wave Two will consist of tactics to attack the people who were sent in as recon and attempt to start totally new flame threads. The key here is that even if we attack a group of people restrained enough to resist our flame-bait, wave two will stir things up and get others to join in.
d: Wave Three: Wave three will generally change depending on the campaign, but will generally be added to push the confusion and chaos over the top. Flame the recon, flame the first wave, flame the second wave. These guys are our balls out, rude SOB's. Mop up and clean out.
Sometimes (usually with bigger groups) Wave three will simply be along the lines of a wave two. We will call for a wave four (or five) to be the balls out routine. We will sometimes add a wave or two because depending on the size and intelligence of a newsgroup.

Miscellaneous Tactics:
There are three other things that we typically use, depending on the sophistication of the invasion.

LOOSE CANNONS are people who come in and act so strange and obtuse that it makes the rest of the flames look genuine.

THE ANON SERVICE can be used to send posts anonymously. This is a good way to post and pretend to be scared of retribution. Only problem is that this is usually the first sign that a post is a flame, so it should only be used with a TREMENDOUS amount of DISCRETION.

CROSS POSTING is also a popular method of choice by other flame groups, so it is important to Cross Post with discretion. If we can cross post to bring in other newsgroups to unwittingly assist us, perfect. If we cross post to suspicious newsgroups, our intentions will be obvious.

                        * Victory *
Ideally, signs of victory are the following:

o  Our names appear in killfiles
o  Majority or ALL threads in invaded newsgroup were started by us
o  Regulars/legit people abandon invaded newsgroup
o  Receive much hate mail - as does our SysAdmin
o  To be reprimanded by the glorious SysAdmin

                        * Notes *
Most important is the need to be SUBTLE when it is required. One misplaced post can ruin it for the rest of us. Those of you who have participated in widespread flame wars know the feeling of having a newsgroup going for a long time, then someone posts an obvious flame or something so far out of context, that everyone says to just ignore the flames, which eventually includes all of us. Blowing a flame war will occasionally happen, but if it could have been avoided with a little thinking, then it's not as excusable.

We've got to share duties. Everyone should get practice playing different roles and different waves.

It has been assumed that if you don't want to participate, fine. No one will hold it against you. What is expected is that if you don't want to participate you don't have to, but that also means that you wont go warning that newsgroup when an invasion happens. You will close your eyes and turn a blind eye. NO NEWSGROUP IS OFF LIMITS!!!!!!

Another thing many people seem to be talking about are SIGS AND NAMES. Try to take on appropriate names. If you are on alt.rap, D.J. Trouble is not going to stir things up...if you show up on soc.culture.physics with that name, you're caught before your first word of text. If a Sig is going to blow your cover, lose it.


Travel & Safety Resources


Rape Prevention Information
Through a Rapist's Eyes (This isn't a joke)

NEVER LET THEM TAKE YOU
TO A SECOND LOCATION!

I was asked to forward this to my lady friends - I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book - men friends have female friends - this Information is too important to miss someone.  Please pass it along and share it with your children.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.  They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed.   They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair.  Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing.  They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly.  Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages.  Number three is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands!  Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon.  So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are:  If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage, or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk, I can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter.  Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a lineup, you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back!  Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back.  Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them.  If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh -- HARD.  One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.  Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always go for the groin ... I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful.  You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble.  Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible ... The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply.   Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts.


You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1. Tip from *Tae Kwon Do*: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans: If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you ... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

    a) If someone is in the car with a gun to your head /DO NOT DRIVE OFF/, repeat: *DO NOT DRIVE OFF*! Instead, gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

    a) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

    b) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them i nto their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

    c) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER
TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY
(And better to be paranoid than dead)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times.

And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door! He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have ha d several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby - This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

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