Neat Thoughts Page

- The author is indicated when known -

Life in Black and White
- author unknown


Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go;
Pull a chair up to the TV set
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."

Depending on the channel you tuned,
You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June;
It felt so good. It felt so right,
Life looked better in black and white.

I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys,
Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys;
Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train,
Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane.

Father Knows Best, Patty Duke,
Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too;
Donna Reed on Thursday night! -
Life looked better in black and white.

I wanna go back to black and white,
Everything always turned out right;
Simple people, simple lives...
Good guys always won the fights.

Now nothing is the way it seems,
In living color on the TV screen;
Too many murders, too many fights,
I wanna go back to black and white.

In God they trusted; alone in bed they slept,
A promise made was a promise kept;
They never cussed or broke their vows,
They'd never make the network now.

But if I could, I'd rather be,
In a TV town in '53;
It felt so good. It felt so right,
Life looked better in black and white.

I'd trade all the channels on the satellite,
If I could just turn back the clock tonight;
To when everybody knew wrong from right,
Life was better in black and white!

I See, I Just Teach
- author unknown


Every now and then, especially around this time of the year, I hear people talk about how easy teaching must be, and how lucky I am to not work in the "real world" like they do...

OK...let's put forth this real-world scenario. You are in charge of producing some item. You have a set amount of time in which to do this. You order the raw materials, but you get an untested, non-standard set of parts for the project. You complain but your boss tells you  that you have to work with what you are given. You cannot return these parts, even though they may
be defective.

You call the manufacturer of the parts to complain. The manufacturer tells you that it's your problem and you have to deal with the parts as they are.

You set about assembling the product as best you can with the non-standard raw materials. The parts don't always fit together but somehow you manage to make them fit together pretty well. Several times during the construction of this product, your boss comes along and tells you that the rules have changed and you have to change your construction strategies.

Several times a week, your clients call you to ask you how the construction is coming along. Sometimes these clients tell you that the substandard parts are *your* fault and that you are responsible for turning the non-standard parts into a standardized, premium product.

After you finish the assembly of the product, inspectors find flaws in some of the product which require reassembly. The individual product are shipped back to the factory where you have to reassemble the same, non-standard parts into a new, complete, and premium, finished product.

Now, then, how would you like to perform this job in your industry? Would you put up with a project where you cannot control the quality of your raw materials? Would you put up with a job where the rules change every few months? No? then you'd not make it as a teacher. this is what I do--every day. Think teaching is easy? think again.

- author unknown


Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you...
Do not cheat by looking ahead to the answers. The mind is like a parachute it works best when it is opened.

You have to follow the instructions very closely... Do not cheat.

A Warning! Answer the questions as you go along... There are only four questions and if you see them all before finishing you will not have honest results. Go down slowly and do each exercise as you scroll down.

Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along.

You will need it at the end...
This is an honest questionnaire, which will tell you a lot about your true self.

1. Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference.
    a. Cow
    b. Tiger
    c. Sheep
    d. Horse
    e. Pig

2. Write one word that describes each one of the following:
    a. Dog
    b. Cat
    c. Rat
    d. Coffee
    e. Sea

3. Think of someone (who also knows you and is important to you) that you can relate them to the following colors.
(Please do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color.)
    a. Yellow
    b. Orange
    c. Red
    d. White
    e. Green

4. Finally, write down your favorite number and your favorite day of the week.

Finished? Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY feel.

Last chance...
Look at the interpretations below.: But first before continuing, repeat your wish.

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This will define your priorities in your life.
Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY

Your description of dog implies YOUR OWN PERSONALITY.

Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.

Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.

Your description of coffee is how you interpret SEX.

Your description of the Sea implies your own life.

Yellow Someone you will never forget

Orange Someone you consider your true friend.

Red Someone that you really love

White Your twin soul

Green Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life...

The following were written by Andy Rooney,
a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.


I've  learned ... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've  learned ... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've  learned ... That just one person  saying to me, "You've made my day!" Makes my day.

I've  learned ... That having a child  fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful  feelings in the world.

I've  learned ... That being kind is more important than being  right.

I've  learned ... That you should never  say no to a gift from a child.

I've  learned ... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help
   him in some other way.

I've  learned ... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
   friend to act goofy  with.

I've  learned ... That sometimes all a  person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to

I've  learned ... That simple walks  around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've  learned ... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've  learned ... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've  learned ... That  money doesn't buy class.

I've  learned ... That  it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've  learned ... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've  learned ... That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've  learned ... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've  learned ... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt  you.

I've  learned ... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've  learned ... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to
surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've  learned ... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've  learned ... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I've  learned ... That no one is perfect  until you fall in love with them.

I've  learned ... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've  learned ... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've  learned ... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've  learned ... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've  learned ... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've  learned ... That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've  learned ... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've  learned ... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned ... That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I've  learned ... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Reasons Why Guys Like Girls...
- author unknown


1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt.
23. The way they say "I miss you"
24. The way you miss them

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore... Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.

What Does Love Mean?
- author unknown


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8  year-olds, "What does love mean?"  The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.  See what you think:
"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."
   - age 5
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.  So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.  That's love."
   - age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
   - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
   - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
   - age 6
"Love is when someone hurts you.  And you get so mad but you don't yell at  them because you know it would hurt  their feelings."
   - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
- age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before  giving it to him, to make sure  the taste is OK."
   - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time.  Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.  My mommy and Daddy are like that.  They look gross when they kiss."
- age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
    - age 5
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
   - age 6
"Love is hugging.  Love is kissing.  Love is saying no"
   - age 8
"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore.  But  then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."
   - age 7
"There are two kinds of love.  Our love.  God's love.  But God makes both kinds of them."
   - age 4
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it  everyday."
   - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other  so well."
   - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared.  I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.  He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared  anymore."
   - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody.  You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
   - Age 5
"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
   - age 5
"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
   - age 8
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
   - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new  ones."
   - age -4
"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me.  So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."
   - age 4
"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."
   - age 8
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
   - age 7
"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's  gross."
   - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.   People forget."
   - age 8
"God could have said magic words to make the nails fall off the cross, but He didn't.  That's love."
   - age 5  
...God Bless these children and the parents that are raising them!

Alcohol's and Drug's Disastrous Promises
- author unknown


I have some promises I'll make you
If you will do what I want you to.
The more that you consume of me
The more then will your loses will be.
Here are the promises to you I make.
And I promise, the promise as to never break.

I promise to take your money, your home
And all you can get in the way of a loan.
I'll take your character, your reputation too,
Your friends I'll take from you one day
Your family from you I'll turn away.

I'll take your car, I'll take your wealth
I'll take your job, I'll take your health.
I'll take your watch, I'll take your chain
I'll cause you to stay out in the rain.

I'll take your credit, I'll take your bail
I'll cause you to sleep in a dirty jail.
I'll cause you regret, remorse, and pain
I'll cause your name to go down in shame.

I'll bring you misery, I'll bring you woe
I'll bring you trouble more than you know.
I'll take your clothes and pawn them too.
The necessities of life, I'll take from you.

I'll take from you days, I'll take from you years
I'll double the flow of bitter tears.
I'll take your heart, give you one of stone
I'll cause you to walk through life alone.
I'll take away your desire to live alright,
Your light of day, I'll turn to night.

I'll cause you to dishonor your mother and dad
I'll take all the pleasure you could have had.
I'll turn your love for your friends to hate
Your desire to repent will come too late.

Your road to dispair for you I will pave
I'll cause you to fill a premature grave.
I'll put you in an institution for the insane
Your normal thinking I'll not let you gain.

I'll cause you to murder your best friend
I'll trouble your mind to the very end.
I'll bring contention, I'll bring you strife
I'll finish with you by taking your life.

Take your Breath Away
- author unknown


Throw out non-essential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them.
That is why you pay him/her.

Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
If you really need a grouch,
there are probably a few dozen of your relatives to do the job.

Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening ...whatever.
Just never let the brain idle.

Enjoy the simple things.
When the children are young... that is all that you can afford.
When they are in college... that is all that you can afford.
When they are grown and you are on retirement...
that is all that you can afford!

Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life is... ourselves.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies ... whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health.
If it is good ... preserve it.
If it is unstable ... improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve ... get help.

Don't take guilt trips.
Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country... but not guilt.

Tell the people you love, that you love them ... at every opportunity.

Remember ...
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.


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