DBF
PSYCHIATRIC
RESEARCH
INSTITUTE
DBF Psychiatric Research Institute Mission Statement: "Zhere are many types of food dizorders. Zee following is zee story of just vun of zhem. Zee names haf not been changed because... vell... zhay are cartoon characters und haf of zee fun is in teazing zhem. Vhat can I zay?
~~Dr. Brugly Freud, Director in residence
:::Tex views an outdated playbill for the recent
Broadway thriller/comedy hit...
"Who Cooked the Lizard's Goose?"::: ROFL!!!!
"I've never had ROASTED lizard b4...." <licking lips>
- (Tex)
"I've eaten froglegs before..."
"Lizard legs can't taste ALL that different. RIGHT???" <heeheehee>
- (Sweet "Calamity" Sue)
"Oh Golly... Oh Golly..."
:::Izod briskly paces back and forth:::
"TEX... NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"It's a PROMOTIONAL POSTER!!!! . . . Not a MENU!!!!"
:::Sheeesh... See if I ever ask Krogers to be our sponsor... AGAIN!!!:::
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
"DANG!!! They got the billing wrong again. Brugly is supposed to be listed BEFORE Pugly!!! And shouldn't that be Sir Izodie Lizard, Jr.?"
Oh.... BTW... "The critics thought the Meerkat Twins were spectacular, as usual.... and they did say that Izod gave a rather..... Tasty..... Performance."
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
- (Brugly)
"I caught this picture of Izod
"kicking back" after his Broadway performance..."
- (Moon)
"He looks a little........ Crispy!!!"
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
- (Brugly)
"What could POSSIBLY be next????"
"Lizard-Ka-Bob????"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
"Creamed Lizard On The Shingle"......Whahaaaa!!!!!
or "Lizard al la Toed"......"Flambayed Lizard"...."Glazed Lizard!!!"
....."Stuffed Lizard"...... "Well Ya Asked!!!!" ROFL
- (Moon)
"Yeah........
But he wants to make it clear that since he is on a health regimen to get in shape to join the troops overseas....... he was baked..... not fried.........
Granted....... he is still overdone!!!" <that's politically correct for scorched!!!>
LOL!!!
- (Brugly)
"I'm more of a Cajun Blackened Lizard filets myself...." <teehee!!!>
- (Tex)
"Tune in tomorrow as Izodie continues to dig his hole deeper......"
"Best advice at this point......."
"RUUUUUUUUUUUN, IZOD, RUUUUUUUN!!!"
- (Brugly)
"Lizard... It's not just for breakfast ANYMORE!!!!"
- (Izod, Jr.) ...FDA Approved, "I'm a big fat tomato!!!!"
:::dragging miniature Antique Fainting Couch over to Izod
and helps him recline... and in best Viennese Freudian accent,
Brugly begins analysis of Izod:::
"Und just how long haf you thot you vere a tomato?"
- (Dr. Brugly Freud) .......or is that Dr. Sigmund Brugly???????
"Well, Doc... Btw, NICE couch... Uh, where WERE we?"
"Oh yeah!!!!"
...Uh, this is in private right????
"Just IZOD and the DOC!!!!"
...Simply a Patient/Doctor type thing!!!!
"RIGHT????"
...No micophones, etc...
"Noooo GROUP sessions!!!!!... Right????"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
"YEZ..... But how long haf you thot you VERE a tomato?"
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
"Lemme ask ya sumthin'... Is it OKAY if I call ya DOC, doc???"
"Okay, here it is... Do you consider me a food group?"
"And IF SO, can I get GROUP rates????"
:::sigh::: ".......................Sorry, Doc!!!"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
:::furiously scribbling casenotes... pausing... leaning back... and then casually proceeding:::
"It is not important vhat I tink... Vhat is important is..."
"Do you consider yourself to be a food group?"
"Und just how long haf you thot you vere a food group?"
:::pencil at the ready:::
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
"It's just... At every turn... I'm... Uh... FOOD!!!!!!"
:::Izod looks away from the wall certificate and speaks directly to the doctor:::
"Like yesterday... I opened my e-mailbox and there it was... AGAIN!!!!"
:::sigh:::
"I mean, WRITTEN, for the WORLD to see... Izzy Pop!!!!
... Don't ya GET IT Doc?... Lizard, on a stick."
:::Izod breaks down, then continues:::
"How long? ...About an hour."
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
:::Dr. Brugly Freud, pausing thoughtfully, pencil tapping her chin, thinking to herself:::
"Hmmmmmmmmmm......Lizard on a Stick. Bet it tastes like chicken. Some mushrooms.......maybe some little pearl onions....." <cough>
"Please..... Continue.... Does zis e-mailbox look like any vun you know?"
"Your Mudder, perhaps?"
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
"Doc... You seem preoccupied... Is sumthin' wrong?"
"WHY do you ALWAYS pencil me in as your NOON appointment?"
:::Izod looks at the 'Happy Meal' clock hanging on the office wall:::
"ISN'T noon suppose to be LUNCH TIME????"
:::Izod realigns himself on the sofa:::
"It was much the same when I lived in that HOT DESERT..."
"Everytime another lizard scampered passed us..."
"I'd ask mah brother, Izzy Pop???"
"My brother would always say, No Izod... That isn't Pop!!!!"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
:::pencil pausing::: "You nevah told me you had un bruthzer..."
"Do you tink of him az part of zee food group?"
:::thinking to self:::: TWO lizards...
NOW ve're talking main dish... Ve're talking entree...
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
:::slowly making eye contact:::
"Why, noooooooo... I don't think of my brother as a food group."
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
"Zhen...he is vhat?" :::Dr. Brugly leans forward expectantly.....sensing a breakthrough is imminent:::
:::looking slowly at Dr. Brugly... Understanding beginning to dawn:::
"My BROTHER????" <lightbulb> "Why... He's a freakin' L-I-Z-A-R-D!!!!"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
:::pointing the pencil forcefully towards Izod:::
"Und that means you are VHAT?????"
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
"A... A... L-I-Z-A-R-D!!!... I'm NOT A FOOD GROUP!!!"
"...I'm a Lizard!!!"
:::running over to mirror:::
"And a darn good-looking one, too!!!"
"I am Sir IZOD Lizard, Jr. ... Ruler of Mark's House!!!"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
"Zhen......MY vork is done here!!! Anothzer success!!!"
:::packing away notepad and pencil:::
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
:::running over to shake Dr. Brugly Freud's hand:::
"Thank you!!!!" "Thank you!!!!" "Thank you... Doc!!!!"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
"You're velcome, Sir Izod."
:::Dr. Brugly pausing while a mysterious smile plays across her face:::
"In celebration...
Vhy dun't you and Mark come to my house dis veek?
I vould luff to haf you for Tanksgiffing Dinnah."
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
"AUUUUUURRRRGHHHHHHHHH...
OUTTA MY WAY!!!!"
:::shouting over his shoulder as he races out the door:::
"YOU VIENNESE QUACK!!!!"
- (Sir Izod, Jr.)
:::Dr. Brugly Freud shrugs her shoulders:::
"Oh, vell... Luckily... I luff Turkey anyvay!!!"
- (Dr. Brugly Freud)
And the moral of this story is: "Just because you think you're Paranoid, it doesn't mean someone isn't really out to get you."
(c) 2001 PPPI
THE CAST:
Dr. Brugly Freud - Brugly Meerkat
Sir Izod, Jr. - Izod Lizard
Tex - TexWebel
Moon - Herself
Sweet "Calamity" Sue - Sally Sue
CREDITS:
Casting - Pugly Meerkat
Director - Brugly Meerkat
Producer - Izod Lizard
Special Effects - Webmogs
Props - Brugly Meerkat and Moon
Sound Effects - Izzy "Pop"
ADDITIONAL DIALOG PROVIDED BY:
We 'R' Web Wascals, Inc.
CATERING PROVIDED BY:
Animals, Great and Small Food Services
WEB SITE PROGRAMING:
Trellix Web
LODGING ACCOMODATIONS:
Remarkable Critters Americana Suites
Special thanks to Brugly for focus and advice in putting this site together.
No animals were harmed during rehearsal or performances.
The DBF PSYCHIATRIC RESEARCH INSTITUTE
is funded in part by a grant from the
"BETTER HUMOR THROUGH CHEAP THRILLS FOUNDATION"
A subsidiary of...
B P P I BEST PAL PRODUCTIONS, INC.
Addition Notes of Interest About...
The DBF PSYCHIATRIC RESEARCH INSTITUTE:
This Web page broke new ground for the Wacko site...
The first Wacko page ever created 'over the Internet' ...LIVE!!!
Separated by literally HUNDREDS of miles...
Two "cRaZeD cRiTtErS" [Izod and Brugs] embarked
upon new waters, designing and creating a collaborative effort!!!
Brugly provided a spontaneous INTRODUCTION for the page... Even the ENDING!
:::Other dialog was provided by persons in previous e-mail loop replies:::
Brugly also expressed opinions as to page colors and expressiveness... :]
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